When visiting the blog after some time has passed, I am concerned that certain blogs have been erased, because I am quite sure I must have written about them. What happened to the birthday blog for example? The tedium of having to write about it now hangs heavily ... lets get it out of the way. OK: eight people came: Chris, Trish, Ann, John, Dan, Armand, Andy and Geraldine. Geraldine didnt make it to the Empire as she had to paint her house with neighbours for a reason not worth recording. All the others were on time - Andy actually arrived an hour early. Concert was not as good as first time, but they played a great piece full of farmyard animals and odd musical instruments. With two cars, we drove to Canary Wharf - my fantasy of champagne on the 277 will have to be resurrected another day. I managed to get John to go in Chris and Trish's car to keep Armand and John apart. The weather was rather sunny though with a cold wind. We had cocktails while waiting to be seated in the Royal China. Didnt wait long - and we got one of the big tables at the back with a carousel. I cant remember how many dim sum we had but it was an outrageous amount of food. I paid £100 for the wine. The sun was low in the sky across the Thames and its rays filled Ann's hair with gold. She looked quite spectacular (one day I will work out how to put photos in here). We fell out onto the promenade, Chris and Trish left and I led the rest onto the boat at the bottom of the gangway. We sped off to Greenwich in the last light, the alchohol inducing the most wonderful feelings of something like stellar travel. It was a great dissapointment to have to get out, and find it had got dark and colder. The pub crawl began in the Trafalgar at which point my memory becomes overwhelmed. The photos show we went to another pub further along the river and then walked back towards the Trafalgar but went into the one before. I remember this because I wanted to go to the comedy club - this was supposed to be the end of the day, but Dan insisted we had done enough already. At the time I accepted that he was speaking for the majority, but the next day a chat with Ann made me realise that it was merely Dan's curtailment of too much pleasure that was kicking in. I wanted to go becuase by that time I couldnt concentrate on let alone contribute to a conversation and sitting in pubs was getting boring. I remember getting very loud over the fact that after walking back to the previous pub in the pursuit of lost presents, I had found them behind a pillar in the third pub and shouted at everyone for not having noticed where they were. Armand was a buying a drink at the time and the barmaid said she was worried because she was on her own and hoped I wouldnt turn violent.

That was it, more or less, and as I anticipated, I didnt much enjoy having to write that.

I could write a whole other section on the barge holiday the week before this one, but wont, though if i can work out how the photos work I will include them here.

I noticed that I mentioned Fabio in the last blog. Interesting cos our Thursday night sessions have settled down into a very pleasant routine. It has been strictly sex only up until last week when I went to the pub he works in for a drink before I went home. He is going to the States next week and has suggested I go and see his band at a gig on Tuesday beforehand. This would be rather more dramatic as I guess I'd be introduced to friends. I dont know if I want to develop the relationship - it works so well as it is now. He is very sweet, getting over a seven year relationship which finished a few months ago, but never asking more from me than I give. We both fully make the most of the affection we give eachother while we are together.

I was reminded of a birthday party I went to in Little Georgia - it was Eski's fiftieth. I sat next to her and I had just become forty. I remember asking her what the next ten years would be like and she said 'the sex is fabulous, darling!'. Well maybe it is - perhaps one has to be forty before one can have truly successful fuck buddying, when there really isnt any pressure from either of you to put a relationship around the sex. I do feel wonderfully cared for when I'm with Fabio and I really care about him too. There is absolutely no baggage to be brought to the occasion, as we havent seen or spoken to each other since the week before. It is clear, smooth and friction free. My weekends are no longer fraught with the necessity of organising a sexual encouner and becoming deserts of tedium as a result. Armand tells me that he no longer has a sexual drive and is rather pleased at the freedom this gives him. It would be a pleasure if he could also stop talking about it constantly, but maybe that's too much to expect!