Saturday night or rather Sunday morning. I am losing the will to blog. The breath seems to have been stifled - or have I just stopped noticing? Met Dan and Ann for drinks in the George - Ann in good mood and quite up for the holiday. Good conversation about male pissing. Went to the Artful Dodger after - is closing next week. Why is it that gay landlords can't keep a business going (unless they are in the West End)? Had ecstatic moment cycling through fields near Bishops Stortford this pm - the sun was so insistent this morning, I sat in its rays for an hour or so while I had breakfast and listened to the radio, but decided that I needed to be out in the country to really appreciate such a gift on the 16th Feb in this benighted isle. Beautiful stained glass by William Morris and Burne Jones in a 13th century church in Furneax Pelham - it must be a bit shit being American and not having anything in your country more than a couple of centuries old.

After Thursday class (good) went to pub with Dan, Jackie and Glenn. Glenn was fine, though I can see he would be superfulous on most evenings (that Dan and I go out on). Friday night in Sheperds Bush with Geraldine etc to cleberate Jill's new job as well as the sacking of Fazle and David, prime dickheads in my last work place. Had very connecting conversation with Dierdre, as well as far too many details from Judith about her relationship with her 16 year old son (perpetual war). Last drink in Irish pub on the big roundabout at Shepherds Bush which is also a bed and breakfast - in the midst of the dregs of drunken customers, young Irish gals were putting out the china for the following day's breakfast.

Have had sex twice today - now I remember what I used to do before LT took over most of my weekends. There is also the fact of my weight loss - pulling is so much about how I feel about myself. Being below eleven stone for the first time since my early twenties is great - yet again I wonder why it has taken me so long to find stuff out. In fact, I have been thinking that I feel so young at the moment, it is rather cruel that I am in fact 43, although rather fortunate that I don't look it. I need a lover soon so I don't have to rely on this fact for ever - Hazel at work wants to go with me to the Spot on Sunday nights to help me meet someone - 'You're going to meet someone very soon, I can feel it' , she says, which is very seductive. Given the Spot was where I met Winston, I am not sure whether that is a good omen or not. Perhaps her intuition is just about five years out. Next thing she'll be forecasting is that I am about to go and work for a careers service again. Ha Ha !!