Great sense of connection with my class this evening - it will be a great shame to have to give up teaching as I intend to do this year. God knows how I will contribute £150 to my pension as well as cutting my income - the Cambozola fund as it used to be known (back in the day when i used to eat cheese, I once told Dan that the reason I had a second job was so that I could afford to buy aforesaid cheese). In the meeting I attended today I felt quite at ease too - and my resentment was hardly in evidence at all. I did half a clearing at the beginning of the staff meeting yesterday on my pissed offness with LT. I didn't get to finish it because - like last week - someone wanted to chat. But whatever, I seem to have shifted the hold my feelings of resentment were exerting. I might even start tommorow with a mirror process like old times (2 weeks ago now) - if nothing else it helps to remind me to put my bloody moisturiser on. Oh yes, went to the Black Horse on Mile End Road tonight for first time - Dan off to fete Mish's birthday, not invited (smirk). Well dishy East End boys aplenty - and I even managed a smile at one, which was good progress. Thought of the state of my flat (dire) and then retreated to a sofa to read the Guardian. Well, I paid for the bloody thing - might as well read it. I will go down there on a Friday or Saturday without props - and I will clean flat first!